Tales from the Cultural Wilderness - Journal

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2005-01-17 Entry: "The End Of Miami"

"Money For Nothing" has another appearance of Azura Skye, and an armoured car hijacking that Horatio is in the vicinity of. Oh, and I've seen this one... the money was counterfeit, the armoured car drivers had already switched it. Well, maybe... the bank manager looks pretty suspicious and my memory is fuzzy...

"Wannabe" sees a guy die of multiple stab wounds after running away from his murderer. The precision of the knife wounds indicate a professional. And a guy wearing a CSI Miami jacket invades the crime scene and steals evidence. Meanwhile, Calleigh and Eric have to deal with a woman's body in a dumpster.

Ms Duquesne is scared of ants... strange phobia I guess, and when the girl appears to have eaten fried leafcutter ants before death... can I iterate that with an EWWWW and a YEUCH!

In "Deadline" a man gets shot through the door of an apartment building, and I think I've seen this one... but don't remember what happens. But the press witnessed the murder. And there's plenty of corruption at the newspaper in this episode.

"The Oath" sees a girl pulled over by the police, and then have the officer drop dead when he gets to her window. Horatio still hasn't told Yelina that Madison is Ray's daughter and not his... when is that bombshell going to get dropped?

Oh, and someone's decided to initiate an internal investigation of Horatio... that won't go down well now, will it?

"Not Landing" and a plane crashes on a crowded beach, and only the pilot dies. Well, okay, he was murdered, but we wouldn't have much of a show if he wasn't...

Erm, he was smuggling potassium permanganate? How is that an illegal substance? We made it in chemistry classes in next to no time... so why are the drug dealers having such a hard time with it? If they can make coke can't they make the purple stuff? Of perhaps this is some strange American restriction that drug dealers aren't allowed anything purple?

Alex is injured when a body's jacket explodes on her while being removed. Okay, this is just a surreal episode! Now we've got hidden spy cameras in all the suspects houses...

In "Rap Sheet" a rapper gets shot live on stage... his bodyguard dies though. Meanwhile, another dead body that isn't, and a flying car passenger missed because she was in a tree.

"MIA/NYC Non-Stop" sees the backdoor pilot for the latest spin-off CSI show - New York. So obviously our Miami crime has to get there somehow. Okay, well the opening is back to freaksville - girl comes home from a night of clubbing, there's blood all over the apartment, her father is dead with a knife in his back, and when she finds her mother, her head falls off...

Ah, there we are, the killer flew down from New York... and now he's returned there, so Horatio will have to follow. Cue another change in colour schemes. Grays and blues are the order of the day here. And Gary Sinise makes his appearance, although they do a lot of build-up before actually showing his face. Heh, and the introduction scene between the two leads has Horatio in bright sunny light using the Miami lighting scheme, while Sinise is in the New York colours.

Okay, one to go - "Innocent" - and taking a stab at predicting the story before I start - the internal investigation on Horatio finds him guilty of something, Yelina finds out that Madison is actually Ray's daughter... and there might be a murder. Let's see how we do.

Okay, two teenagers making out in the park find a body in the bushes, so I was right on the murder. The body is apparently that of a porn star, which the police at the scene are quick to point out.

Oh, we have the internal investigation after someone in the lab releases HCl in the lab to destroy a phone conversation recording that could incriminate one of their suspects - a very rich guy with an extremely slick lawyer.

Oh, well Yelina didn't find out about Ray's daughter, but the internal affairs guy she's dating knows about it. So I was nearly right...

Okay, yes, I stopped alternating Mutant X with CSI but it only followed my usual tendency to get distracted by shiny new things - I've seen Mutant X before... but I'll go back to do at least a few more episodes before season 3 of Babylon 5...

So we open with "Crime Of The New Century" and they'd obviously decided the stunt men weren't getting enough to do, as the entire teaser is Jesse and Brennan having a punchup with Eckhart's goons.

AFter the credits, someone breaks into an extremely high tech house, and kidnaps the son (who's a new mutant)... the wife, apparently with premonitions, wakes up realising he's missing. The father is an astronaut and hero, so there's a lot of FBI interest... well, okay, the supposed FBI, as the head of the investigation is really Eckhart's latest second-in-command.

Okay, my speaker's playing stupid interference games again... so "Dark Star Rising" will have to be watched with strange crackling/hissing... anyway, we open with Shalimar getting beaten up by a pair of ferals, and then a huge guy turns up and puts a stop to her - the guy sounds familiar but his face isn't shown.

Oh, another member of the Codename: Eternity cast shows up as Eckhart's henchman - Banning gets to be the head of the company that this Dark Star group tried to attack (TriCorp). Oh... and the guy who appeared off screen is Conan (well, Ralf Moeller, but same difference).

Apparently, TriCorp found a way to turn the squad into Ferals, but the shots killed most of them. Okay, and Eckhart puts his failure of a henchman in cryogenic suspension each week... he's going to need a hell of a big storage are with the number of failures he has!

And then I did the stupid thing and sat through another interminable hour of Charmed... is this show ever going to get any better? Okay, yes, I'm glad they've got away from the stupid gimmick episodes temporarily, but it's still not a very good show at the moment.

But enough moaning, back to Mutant X - "Whiter Shade Of Pale" sees Adam's invention of a genetic sequencer (that stops a new mutant's genes mutating out of control) stolen by an invisible mutant.

Although the invisible mutant turns out to be a former love interest of both Adam and Mason, her genes are breaking down and she's losing control... oh, and she has a daughter that also has her stealth mutation.

Of course, they never actually tell you if the daughter is Adam's, Mason's, or someone else's entirely...

In the subsequent episode, "Double Vision," an old friend of Brennan's asks to meet, but she betrays him and the GSA are there waiting. In the fight her power and Brennan's interact with a big explosion, and suddenly there are two Emmas. Presumably one good and one evil? As that's usually how these things go... although both Buffy and Farscape did splitting a character in two and having them both be the same person, so they could go anywhere with this.

The Emma back at Mutant X appears to be afraid of the medical scanner... oh, and Brennan's friend has been having surgery at the GSA which explains her newfound powers.

Oh, Banning hasn't been cryogenically frozen... he's still alive and kicking. And the GSA appear to have Evil Emma after all... or maybe just the rash and crazy version.

And no, I can't be bothered to link all these titles to a suitable guide...

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