2002-03-26 Entry: "Terror"
Driving home Thursday evening, it suddenly struck me what I'm getting into. I guess the mail from the girl in Dallas giving me a few more details (or rather, a few more names to point fingers at when things go quiet) brought home to me quite how soon this could all happen. I mean, we're most of the way through March, April is likely to fly by, and sometime from that point on I'll be off.
Talk about swinging without a net! No friends, no family, no idea where I'll be living, no real idea what the job is going to be like (but it looks like more of the same, so at least one familiar thing). At least the language is the same!
I'm sure I'll cope, but it hadn't actually hit me what a daunting prospect it could be... guess I could have done with thinking things through a little more before hand. But I declared at some point in the past that that was what I wanted to do (as part of my Master Plan TM), so by Jove I'll do it.
"By Jove I'll do it"?! Did I just write that? Okay, now for an entry from the olde 19th Century... actually, the only place I can think of for that cultural reference is "My Fair Lady" - although I'm not even sure the line in that was "By Jove I think she's got it" - it might have been by George.
Anyway, back to the terror - hopefully this'll work like all the other times where I've been gripped by an attack of nerves. Exams are a good example - I go through the panic attack a couple of weeks before, and then am reasonable calm right up until the thing finishes (at which point I can't do anything about it anyway). If Dallas works the same way, and there's no reason to think it won't, then I should be reasonably calm right up until I land there... then I'll probably be completely lost... but at which point I won't have any choice and will just have to get on with things.